Friday, September 23, 2005

WANDA

I would like to introduce you to Wanda. She is 28 and lives in Wisconsin. She has been a professional Karaoke singer for about 6 years now and does a dead-on rendition of Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All".

She volunteers at the local Boys & Girls club and runs a Karaoke program for the kids. It makes her feel good to give back to the community and put smiles on kids faces.

She lives with her boyfriend Ed, and she really wants to get married and start a family because she ain't no spring chicken anymore, and her biological clock it ticking. For some reason Ed has reservations about getting married. Maybe he is holding out for something better to come along. Anyways, Wanda has given Ed an ultimatium, and that if they aren't engaged by the end of the year, then she is moving on.

Wanda made the huge mistake of calling Dr. Laura to tell her about her problems with Ed. Dr. Laura of course does not support live-in arrangements, even though Wanda has been dating Ed for 8 years and has lived with him for the past 4. Dr. Laura told Wanda that Ed is living the married man's life-style and has his caked and is eating it too. This is why Wanda is giving Ed the ultimatium.

Random Fact #1: Wanda tried out for American Idol, and made it to the second round. She feels as though she wasn't given a fair chance and was crushed when Simon told her she needed to update her look.

4 Comments:

At 11:48 AM, Blogger EB72 said...

Wanda should pay a little more attention to Ed's comings and goings. Those frequent "business trips"???

He really has a whole family - wife and three kids - in the next city over.

The really messed up part is, his real wife knows all about Wanda and is glad Ed is hooked up with Wanda so she doesn't have to worry about satisfying Ed's needs (since he gets plenty from Wanda) and she "knows" Ed is faithful to Wanda and Wanda is DEF. faithful to Ed so if she, the real wife, ever has a hankerin', she knows she is not going to catch anything. Except maybe another child because she and Ed are DEVOUT Catholic. (how she justifies Ed's infidelity is her own deal).

Oh, and Ed's real wife's name is Tanya. Tanya is hot and I think you should post her photo next ...only ... I just told her whole story didn't I?

Oops.

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger appsdshell said...

Oh, there's so much more to Tanya than was said...we'll definately have to cover Tanya on Monday.

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger stretch td said...

Wanda is homeless since her fling in the Spring 2001. Her boyfriend kicked her out and she is now living under the stage in Tomkins Square Park. Here, Wanda is poking her head out in case some passerby will provide her with some nourishment.

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Wanda volunteers for the Spring Fling every year because it's a chance for her to see happy couples. She likes this, because she is a 47 year-old virgin with bad breath and varicose veins who has never had a boyfriend and in fact had to go to her senior prom with her cousin (she threw up on him).

For some reason, Wanda doesn't want me. Your loss, Wanda!

 

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